Unfortunately, I couldn’t just let a good thing be. Loyal to the journalist in me, I had to go and do some digging about who these people were. I realized that I didn’t know a “Katie Katie”, but that she certainly did resemble my good friend Katie Cammorota. Also, Andrew Thomas was completely unfamiliar, but he had the same stupid smile as my buddy Andrew Wakelee.

I soon discovered what was happening. My friends were becoming seniors and were beginning to hide their internet identities from potential employers. Nothing can derail a job search quite like a picture of you and your friends feeding beer to a duck. With companies using facebook more often as a resource to check in on graduates; leaving incriminating photos, comments, and videos has become increasingly risky.
So like superheros, we now are hiding behind secret identities. I have to admit, this is all very exciting to me. I actually jumped onto this bandwagon months ago when I changed my facebook name. I wasn’t hiding anything, I just thought wanted to honor Chad Johnson by changing my name to Joe “Cuatro Cero“. Unfortunately, it never really caught on.

While it really sucks that we have to hide who we are to get a job, I think there are some positives behind this if we all harness the potential in this movement. Instead of adopting lame aliases like the “First name- Middle name” combo or the “Double First name” method, lets show some creativity. To start the revolution, I have created a list of some of my personal favorite possible fake facebook identities. Hopefully these will inspire you.

Mike Honcho- This one is especially fitting if you are attempting to hide embarrassing photos of yourself. I have one friend who has an annoying habit of losing his pants. In his mind, there is a constant battle raging between him trying to make you look at his butt, and you trying not to look at his butt. In my mind, there are no winners in this game, only losers. Of course, a side effect to this is that we now enjoy a plentiful collection of pictures of his butt online. This is nice if you are searching for pictures of men’s bottoms, but not so great for a company looking for a new Public Relations director. So I would recommend that our friend invests in a name change… and a belt.

Abe Froman- This one is a homage to the classic “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” scene when the gang fools a restaurant host into seating them by pretending to be “the sausage king of Chicago”. This technique is useful when you are trying to hide your whereabouts. Let’s say you told your teacher you had to miss class for your grandmom’s funeral. In reality though, you were taking a page out of Bueller’s book and attending a baseball game. Your professor might not appreciate finding photos of you flipping off Billy Wagner instead of paying respects to mom-mom. You don’t have to keep a low-profile at the game, just make sure you change your profile name. (Advice has more staying power when it rhymes)

Sasha Fierce- I had trouble thinking of fake identities for women, which is strange because I have a long sad history of girls giving me fake names. My roommate listens to terrible terrible music, so I have had “single ladies” in my head all month. In fact, don’t change your name to Sasha Fierce because every time I log onto your profile I’ll be stuck humming that tune all afternoon. Forget I even suggested this.

Inigo Montoya- “The Princess Bride” has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. It is a fantastic movie cursed with a terrible name. (I tried for hours to think of a fitting comparison for the “bad name curse”, before finally asking my roommate, Wakelee. He quickly replied “How about the band the butthole surfers?” I refused to google or youtube “butthole surfers”, so we are just gonna have to take his word on this one)

Mr. America- I get most of my life lessons from professional wrestling. 1) Before shaking anyone’s hand, I look back and forth for others’ approval. 2) It is perfectly acceptable to start a “USA” chant whenever an immigrant enters the room. 3) Never turn your back on a corpse. Most importantly, no matter how famous or recognizable you may be, if you do not want others to know who you are all you have to do is wear a mask. So if you are really worried about your boss checking out your facebook profile, don’t stop at just changing your name. Hide your identity in your profile pic with a fancy new mask.

Your Porn Name- This is a classic ice breaker and is very easy to do. Simply take your middle name and the street you grew up on. I would be Micheal Ascot. Kinda works in my case huh?

Max Power- From one of my favorite episodes of the Simpsons. Homer changes his name after it is disgraced by a tv-cop by the same name. Enter Max Power. This episode also provides us with more female names, as Homer suggests that Marge changes her name to Hottie Mcboob, Busty St. Claire, or Chesty Laroux.

I hope some of these examples can help you as you begin to think of your new identity. Think outside the box. Maybe you can follow in the footsteps of Prince and become a symbol. Or maybe we could stop being so childish as a society and quit stalking each other to the point where we are afraid to express ourselves. I guess sometimes it is easier to change our names than it is to change our stripes.

A Live Video Stream with the assistance of BUTV of the Bloomsburg University Fall 2008 Graduation will begin at 6 pm on Friday, December 12. Also, Saturday’s Graduation Ceremonies will be steamed. Want to watch the event in the privacy of your space? Get some friends and watch this historic event.  

          The official start of the Christmas season is here and no matter what Ralphie tells you it isn’t the display in the store window. Oh sure, that display is up, but the real start of the Christmas season was on Friday, November 28, also known as Black Friday. Black Friday is traditionally the day when retailers go from being in the red, a debt or loss, to being in the black, turning a profit.The origin of the name however, comes from right here in Pennsylvania.Philadelphia police and bus drivers referred to the day as Black Friday due to traffic and the sheer volume of pedestrians that clogged the streets during this time.The accounting origin of the name did not become popular until the 1980’s when it became better known.
          The shopping day of Black Friday marks the holiday rush that always precedes Christmas and generates massive amounts of revenue for retailers.Some will make all of their profits during this time.Others will generate the best numbers that they see all year.
          This year had the potential to offer poor sales, due to the state of the economy.However, 2008 had a stronger turnout, more spending, and more people doing all of their shopping this year than any other.This year there were a total of 172.9 million shoppers in stores according to the National Retail Foundation. This beat 2007’s former record of 147.3 million shoppers by a sizeable margin. The average amount of money spent also increased to $372.57 this year from last years $347.55.The amount of people who completed all of their shopping on Black Friday also increased from 8.2% to a whopping 10.6%. Most customers were found to buy lost cost items like CD’s, video games, DVD’s, and clothing. Sales numbers for those shopping online during Cyber Monday, the Monday after Black Friday, were reported as being lower than expected for the online components of brick and mortar stores, while online only venues reported an increase in traffic.

          The news was not all good however.In the weeks preceding Black Friday sales dropped sharply on most items, and the sale of electronics and luxury items plummeted 19 percent in the days leading up to the sales according to SpendingPulse. Others are frightened that the shorter shopping season, only 27 days, will cause a drop in last minute shoppers. Students at Bloomsburg University listed several reasons for not shopping on Black Friday that included crowds, the economy, and indecision on what to buy this year. Those that did shop said they found great deals at stores such as Old Navy, New York & Co., and Best Buy.
          One Best Buy employee who wishes to be unnamed was quoted as saying, “This year went really well. The line only wrapped around the store once, and the line to test computers only went to the front door. We didn’t need to call any ambulances or police, although we did have some minor disputes.”

Even when the future of the country was on hand I still couldn’t bring myself to become extremely interested in what was happening globally. While two men gave speeches about the economy, I was using CNN and the stock tracking option on my phone to watch the little numbers change, and see graphs about the price of tea in China. While people read polls and interviews with the candidates, I stuck to my daily routine of blogs and webcomics. I played video games through speeches, and had fun with my friends through rallies. I was an apathetic voter.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care about the election or the future of the country. It was just that carpe diem seemed like such a better option. When the time came to vote, I’d do so. I’d have a look at the issues in the newspaper, evaluate which candidate I agreed with on said issues and then go out and vote. It’s not a bad plan. I just didn’t care about the process up till now. I’m sure that there were similar stances here on campus, and of course around the country.

In the end apathy doesn’t have to mean you don’t vote, instead it can just mean you don’t care about the research that the polls are spewing out minute by minute. Apathy has become a part of the voting process now, and working through it is the new challenge for candidates.

If it were possible to create an entire planet and everything in it would you? On Sept.7, EA games released “the highly anticipated game” Spore. Spore is considered a God game. The player takes the role of creator and basically controls all aspects of the game. From the cell stage to the space stage you are in charge of what your creature becomes.

Will Wright designer of the Sims is designer of the game and has named it an “massively single-player online game.” Game players can share and show-off their creations including creatures, buildings, automobiles, planes, and spaceships. Plus the player is able to create and evolve an entire species of… well anything!

Controversy arose because of the games evolutionary take. Believers of creationism have had complaints about the game’s impact on children. The game is rated E for “Everyone” 10+. The blog antispore.com caught the attention of many Spore game players. The writer of antispore.com is a Christian mother who has had it with Will Wright and EA games she writes on her about page,

“I created this blog to find support for and follow my progress in letting Electronic Arts know that their biggest attack on Christian values to date will not be tolerated. We can not allow the gaming industry to invade our homes and poison the minds of our children. After all, their billions in revenue and all the advertising in the world are no match for the power of God.”

The Antispore blog however is a controversy in itself. Antispore.com has had over 1,000 responses to the blog’s about page. A few of the over the top posts the “Christian mother” wrote began to generate skeptics.

On Sept. 11 the blog was revealed as being a prank or “Rickroll.” The term “Rickroll” comes from an internet joke/hyperlink which spread from user to user usually in the form of the Rick Astley video, “Never Gonna Give You Up.”

The Antispore blogger concealed the lyrics of “Never Gonna Give You Up” within their post on Sept. 11, revealing the true nature of their creationism controversy,

“But the Bible teaches us that God was not done with man. For we were His creation and He then spoke to Noah in Genesis 8:21-27 after the flood. “21. The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never gonna give you up. 22. “Never gonna let you down.” 23.”Never gonna run around and desert you.” 24. “Never gonna make you cry.” 25. “Never gonna say goodbye.” 26. “Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.” 27.”Never truly believe anything you read on the Internet. There will always be cases of Poe’s Law.”

 (Video Below: Spore Trailer CELL PHASE )